Ok what is a Girlfriend when you are an adult?! I keep asking myself this question because from my view Men expect a Girlfriend to act like a Wife WITHOUT the TITLE of WIFE! I'm just calling it as I see it. Let's run thought the typical expectations of most Men I encounter:
2. A Cook
3. A maid
4. Total Loyalty
Being that the above are not really things that most men these days will do without it sometimes becomes difficult from my perspective to understand how I'm expected to do all that and be just a GIRLFRIEND! Now, the above list I have come to understand applies to Men all Men regardless of religious affiliation. Surprising, isn't it... I have dated Men that claim to be Seventh-Day Adventist yet still expect Sex on the second or third date!
I find it hilarious that many adults in my parents generation actually believe that there is this MASSIVE difference when it comes to dating a Man who is Adventist vs. Non-Adventist. Fact is a Man is either a Man of God or they aren't. Sure things are easier when you date someone who has the same religious affiliation as you do. But, to be honest I don't really like dating Adventist Men. I feel this way because Adventist Men usually have this air of arrogance in that they are somehow the cream of the crop because they happen to be single, "saved", and oftentimes educated.
These Men have a since of entitlement. I've even been asked to list my past relationships so that He could decide if I was worthy of a second date! WHAT?! Worthy?! Of course after that comment, I kindly excused myself from the date! I left shaking my head thinking, Wow really, He wasn't even cute! I was simply going on the "date" to appease those who might ask if I give Adventist Men a chance.
Fact is I try my hardest to try to like Adventist Men. BUT I can't help but feel so judged when I'm in their presence. You know the double standard exists in the church! You know the concept that it's perfectly accepted for an Adventist Man to go out and sow his wild oaks and then to come back around to Jesus and then find a Marry a Adventist Woman 5 years His junior who has little to no life experience meaning basically a virgin!
I am overlooked, I feel by many Adventist Men because to be honest. I don't present myself as a Bible thumping, No Makeup wearing, No Jewelry wearing, Modest, quiet, Woman. I don't even attempt to appear to be anything other than what I am. So because I wear my jewelry to church and loud nail polish while often times rocking the latest in hair and makeup trends I am overlooked.
Then I come in contact with Men outside of the "Church Walls" and to them they feel like I am a rare find. They treat Me like I am a Queen. They tell Me how special I am and how lucky they would be if I chose to spend my life with them!
They want Me to be their GIRLFRIEND! You know the Girlfriend that meets the above list of requirements! You know the Girlfriend that has regular sex with them, cooks for them, cleans for them occasionally, and shows them complete loyalty! At first glace this doesn't sound to bad because Adventist Men ask for the same in terms of their expectations. The fundamental difference I see is an Adventist Man will have try to have sex with Me then look down his nose if I choose to comply. Then have a nerve to tell Me I'm not Wife material if I will have SEX with him before marriage!
Wait, WHAT?! Come again?! Just a few hours ago you the (Adventist Man) was attempting to touch every inch of my body in an attempt to get me to sleep with him. Then when I say no or say hey aren't you moving a little fast. Then they say, Aww, We've been cool for years why you acting funny? You know we all have needs we're both grown. So what you going to do? Then I say well... You have a point. But then something in Me screams, "HELL NO"! So I say you know what I'm good, I'll see you at church Sabbath. Then I walk off...
Then I find myself, right back in the familiar arms of someone who isn't Adventist. Why?! Well because I'd rather be with a Man who won't judge Me. The difference being the non-Adventist has no real expectations other than the above list because honestly they aren't looking to be married. In most cases they just want the milk like the old saying says, but have absolutely no intentions on buying the cow.
In the end, I'm left there single. Not really looking for a Man but still finding myself hardly ever alone... I find myself wanting the title but making no progress in positioning myself to be a wife... Ugh... It sucks, but hey this is my life right now... Kinda sad when you think about it but it is what it is. I wonder if I will ever be someone's life partner? I wonder if I will get my happy ending? Will I get the Husband, and the Children. Or will I continue to find myself when Men who want it all from Me but won't make Me an honest Woman? Hmm... Only God know's how My Life will continue to unfold...